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Top 5 Things Snowmobile Owners Will Never Say On A Message Board

By John Prusak

One way that you know a given market is interesting and filled with enthusiastic people is when some of those people pick sides and enthusiastically argue. Let’s face it: there are no message boards with folks who bash each other over their choice of deodorant (“Dude, you use Right Guard? Mitchum is soo-ooo-oo much better!”)  or facial tissues (“Kleenex brand is for lemmings, man. Step up and get yourself some Puffs.”). But for snowmobile enthusiasts? There’s hardly anything better than ripping on other people’s Yamahaulers or mustard buckets, ditch pickles or poos. It’s just a part of the whole scene.

And, while we’re at it, why not man-up and claim your sled is faster; you’re a better rider; you’re better looking and more successful with the ladies; you’re a heck of a lot smarter about politics; you own of a significantly better tow vehicle; you’re able to fix things that nobody else can figure out; you are more knowledgable on snowmobiling history; you have a significantly better sense of humor than anybody else; your  taste in music or television viewing is the only one that matters; you cheer for a best sports teams; and not only is your choice in pets right, but your particular animals are better than others’? Throw in some comments about the second amendment and a few U.S. vs. Canada barbs, and you’ve got the Snow Goer Trasher board!!

It may sound like we’re mocking our beloved Trasher board, but that’s not our intention at all.  We love it, even though we get hammered on there all the time. And while, like most message board communities, it is dominated by a relative handful of “regulars” who post very often, available stats show that tens of thousands of people lunk in the background to enjoy the back-and-forth entertainment of those message board dominators.

The bantering among snowmobilers, of course, far pre-dates the Internet. Before there were message boards and forums, there were Saturday mornings at dealerships and weekends at trailside pitstops. There is a still a smattering of brand-bashing at those locations, but the truly fun stuff it seems is on the message boards.

To celebrate all of this chatter, this week’s Friday’s Fast Five offers this: 5 Things You’ll NEVER read on the Snow Goer Trash Talkers Message Board:

  1. “You’re absolutely right and I’m absolutely wrong. Not only have you convinced me to change my brand of snowmobile, your insightful, thoughtful and courteous comments about politics, religion and professional football have also caused me to rethink everything in those areas as well. Thank you for opening my mind.”
  2. “You know what? I’ve been thinking about it, and I think you and your sled are truly are better and faster than me and my sled. In fact, I own the worst brand of snowmobile – the other three brands all make substantially better equipment.”
  3.  “I’m considering a fan-cooled sled because it really suits my needs. What I ride now is just too darn fast. I’m just not man enough to ride a powerful sled.”
  4. “It’s true, I’m a poser.”
  5. “You know what? Those magazine guys really know what they are talking about. I respect them and their opinions.”

Have a great weekend everybody, and make sure to insult a fellow snowmobile owner sometime soon!

One comment

  1. Good job on the chumslick JP, hope a few a them 10’s a thousand krappy sled ownin candyasses follow it over ….we’re down to bones and need some winter meat…come a runnin folks, all er welcome….bring some ketchup

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